Blink
by uebermensch
Summary: This story marks the 1-year Hulu-broadcast anniversary of SELFIE "Imperfect Harmony" (1x10) on 9 December 2014. What happens in seconds aren't fully appreciated until it's too late. Beginning from Henry's point of view, this story is based on "Imperfect Harmony" (1x10) and the end-scene in "Perestroika" (1x11), but before his realization at the end of "Wishing Well" (1x13).


**"BLINK"**

What happens in seconds aren't fully appreciated until it's too late. Beginning from Henry's point of view, this story is based on "Imperfect Harmony" (1x10), but before his realization at the end of "I Woke Up Like This" (1x13). Eliza is no longer on TeamFreddy and Henry remains on TeamSalad.

At karaoke night, the moment Henry leaves to join Julia downstairs, the audience sees how his physical departure immediately impacts Eliza, how you can see in her face her heart plummets to an empty pit in her soul. The magical part of Karen Gillan's performance is how she switches her character from hopeful to destroyed in a mere blink of an eye.

This story marks the 1-year anniversary of "Imperfect Harmony", broadcast on Hulu on 9 December 2014.

Characters belong to Emily Kapnek, and because I miss seeing Heliza, I'm borrowing them for awhile. COMPLETE, one-shot, that's independent of my other Selfie stories.

* * *

 _"Blink once if you're secretly in love with me ..."_

 _"Eliza ..."_

 _"Blink once if you have feelings for me, but you're unwilling to admit it."_

 _"You're drunk ..."_

 _"BLINK IF YOU WANT ME!"_

* * *

Friday night ticks silently forward to Saturday morning. A man sits in the darkened corners of a glass house. His last two drinks with his boss at the end of the evening's activities pushed his blood alcohol beyond the legal driving limit, and he arrived home in a taxi past midnight an hour ago.

It's quiet here in the hills, and he once thought it's exactly what he wanted. That is, until a woman broke through with a cacophony of light, sound, and a tremendous rush-on of the "feels". Quiet is not what he wants nor what he needs. It's only now he realizes what he needs and wants are found in exactly the same person.

Specifically, a redhead. More specifically, the top sales rep at KinderKare.

He gets up from the couch, and walks over to his desk. Within the bottom drawer to the side, he reaches behind a hidden compartment and takes out his journal. He opens the book to the first empty page and begins writing.

I'll blink for you.

I blink because I have to. Every moment is empty in your absence and is alive with your presence.

And even in your presence, there's a momentary part of the blink where you're not visible. I can't see you, and it frightens me.

But it's where I can hide.

There are times I don't want to hide.

For you, I'll blink. I want to know what lies behind the darkness.

I'll blink for you.

From afar, I'll steal a look, one that moves on to a lingering glance, and goes beyond to a dream-like stare.

It's not completely creepy or stalkerish. Some time ago, you called it a "smolder."

I grabbed and held onto you. And for a moment, I blinked.

Blink.

You'll catch me looking. Because I know you've always been watching me.

But now, you're not. You know my failure, and you won't fall for that again.

Blink.

I hurt you terribly, because I took you for granted and I underestimated you. I trusted my brain over my heart.

Worse, I didn't trust you.

Blink.

I've played the entire course of my life safely, steady, on a long-planned course. Sixteen thousand dollars and painful riding-lessons on a horse come to mind.

Blink.

I know a part of me loves you, and I'm a goddamn coward.

Blink.

The nights are lonelier without your presence. You aren't around to tell me what new scandal you've uncovered on social media, or to educate me what goes in the rest of this world that's a complete mystery to me.

When you're not coming by unannounced, and barging into my house. Like you've always done, from the very first moment we met.

Blink.

I don't want to know what this world is like, if I can't see you on the other side.

The one thing I've realized is over two days, I really saw you; I saw what lay beneath the superficial exterior. The vulnerable side to you, that I know for a fact you won't show to Freddy. The woman in anticipation, the hopeful girl who sat in my office, waiting for my answer, after I made you wait 24 hours for my feeble answer. Pathetic, you said. Bordering on inexcusable.

Blink.

"If you don't see it, you're going to miss it."

I know I missed my chance; I'm hoping to have another chance with you. I'm going to keep my eyes open. Not literally; I have to blink.

But what's distressing is not knowing if I'll ever get another chance.

So I down another tumbler of smooth liquid fire.

Blink.

You're totally spot on. I am terrified of feeling anything I can't control. And now that fear has come true. The roaring buzz in my ears and the swell of emotions are threatening to overwhelm me.

This feels like a breakdown.

Blink.

You know me all too well, Eliza Dooley.

Which is why if I can reverse-jig all the science and flip back the blinking, maybe I could throw all caution to the wind, and surrender to my desire.

Blink.

Which is why, in the late stages of this sorry day, I know I'm in love with you, too.

Blink.

Shit. This, is going to hurt.

Blink.

* * *

Tears run down her face.

She's staying at his place again, this time with good reason. She's having a part of her bathroom renovated, especially given the number of cheeseburgers she's stupidly forced down the toilet. But apart from that technicality, she's getting a new tub and a new sink. She tells Henry the good news (of course), and he immediately offers her his place (naturally). He tells her he'll be staying at a hotel for a couple of nights. This makes her feel a little guilty, but he insists, and who is she to refuse his insistence? Besides, she never returned his keys after the first time months ago, and he never asked to get his keys back.

The moment she steps inside his house, she carries out a detailed plan to seek and find his precious journal. She's not fond of her tendency to being nosy, but this, she must know! Oddly, she finds his journal within 15 minutes, whereas she spent a couple of hours the last time and puzzled over where he might have hidden the damn thing.

She flips through the journal, mentally marking places where she wants to return: his first day at KinderKare, the first day he met her ( _whoa, don't hold back there, Henry_ ), and the first time he felt a connection with her as friends. And the first time he acknowledges to himself he has feelings for her.

And how he hurt her.

She blinks, as tears fall down her cheeks.

 _I knew it! Oh, that stupid awful foolish man_ , _and all the time we've needlessly wasted._

The dull ache in her belly means she can't read any further. That's a first, because she always had the intention of reading the whole journal. But now, she has to stop.

She searches and immediately finds a box of kleenex. _Thank you for your attention to detail, Henry_. She wipes her face and is careful to see none of her tears have landed on any of the pages of his journal. It would be so totally Henry if he caught sight of unusual and irregular spots on the page. She closes the leather-bound volume, and replaces the book into its rightful place in his desk.

Instead of the couch in the den, she trudges into his bedroom, pulls back the covers, and slips in between the cool high thread count sheets. She slips initially into dreamless sleep, with the light scent of Henry's shower gel surrounding her in a familiar comfortable halo.

 _"Blink if you want me!"_

 _"Eliza ... I don't have to blink. I want you."_

 _"What?!"_

 _"What part of 'I want you' don't you understand?"_

 _"Henry, please stop talking, and start kissing me."_

Deep into the beyond of another world, Eliza smiles broadly.

And swimming satisfied among wishes and feels, she blinks.

* * *

END NOTE:

I've a number of individual stories in progress, both from the perspective where they aren't yet together, and from a world where they are together, "solid as a rock". While "Blink" might fit within the 13-episode canon, I've yet to decide if I'll pursue a follow-up.


End file.
